It had been a while since Chéri had last been here. Probably Darius needed to let the oil dry for a bit, probably Chéri themselves had been very busy with settling into their new life at the Pony, the point was they hadn’t had a posing session in a while, but they were going to remedy that. Now that they had a little more money and a little more knowledge of the place, Chéri chose to wear less flaboyant things, at least superficially and could go around in a slightly more discreet fashion. They had rung and were currently waiting for Darius to open his room’s door.

Darius opened the door and smiled seeing Cheri. "You've returned! I almost worried I'd lost my model." He chuckled lightly and ushered him in. "I hope you've been well.." He said as he was already going to gather the material and push the loveseat back to it's spot to bask in the light from the window. This painting was exactly what he needed. He'd been stressed about the will, his family, Sonia. He wanted something to distract him and there was nothing better.

"You're looking fantastic!" He pulled his easel into place and was grabbing his paints when he looked back over at them.

Chéri blinked a few times and then smiled adorably, as they knew to do. They nodded “I am very well indeed, you needn’t worry. I was just adjusting to my new life. It takes a while, you know? Always so much to do…” they confessed, shaking their heads. Chéri seemed pretty surprised at that compliment. They thought they were losing a lot of their charm, stating to look less refined and more common now that so many of the luxury of their former life were lost.

“Don’t I always?” was their answer instead, as they started to take off their clothes “and how are you, Darius?”

Darius nodded as he led Cheri in and looked apologetic. "Of course, I do not mean to make you feel rushed. You should take your time. I do hope you're settling in alright." He actually had no idea how hard it was, he'd never moved out of his home.

He nodded in agreement as he made sure everything was set up right. "Of course, you are always perfect. Sorry, it has just been a while." He admitted before getting to position to paint and looked over. "Ah.. I've also been busy..life's been complicated." He didn't want to bother cheri with the troubles of his life. He also worried it would sound like boasting or something, though it was not meant to be!

Darius apologised before Chéri could really request it and this made them bend their head to the side, with a curious expression. They blinked twice “I will manage, thank you.” they never shared their difficulties with their nomadic life, especially not with someone they knew so little.

Chéri laughed again a little “Perfect for what?” they asked, under their breath, as they got rid of their vest. “What have you been busy with?” Chéri seemed intentioned to give vague answers but not to accept them. Plus, Chéri had already learnt a great deal and was curious to hear the other side of the story.

Darius looked pleased at the response , "Of course. If there is difficulty, you know where to find me." He offered a weak smile as he started to prepare his paints. He cared to help his muse but he had a lot going on, so it was nice to hear that Cheri had things under control.

The question had him pause as his head tilted similarly. "Perfect to look at and to paint!" A soft laugh came from him as he looked around the canvas and stared at the other for a moment to make sure it looked the same and everything was right. As he contemplated an answer, he picked a paint and disappeared around the easel to start painting. "Family matters.." That was for the most part true. Even Sonia could be considered a family matter since she had such a deep connection to his dead brother, right?

Darius was sweet but Chéri knew half of the times those words were said, even by sweet people, they meant nothing. “Thank you. You haven’t come to find me at the Pony, instead. Do you not visit often?” Chéri was interested in collecting more stories, in gathering a better understanding of the current dynamics in…whatever it was Darius and Sonia had going on.

Chéri smiled, please “Perfect,” they confirmed. “I can do other things too, though,” they specified, without dwelling too much on that. Darius concentrated on other things. “Family matters.” Chéri repeated, with a vague suspicion of knowing what sorts of family matters they were talking about. “How do you feel about that? Taking that sort of responsibility. Do you see yourself as a family man?” a courtesan was 50% therapist most of the time, more when they were around shy men like Darius.

Darius paused before he'd even put brush to paint by the question. "I've never visited the Pony before.. until recently when I was summoned. I'm sorry I had a lot on my mind, I didn't think about it. And don't want to bother you if you're busy. " He said slowly. How much did Chéri know? It would make sense if they knew Sonia, she owned the place after all now right?

He looked down at his work and tried to focus on the painting and nodded in agreement. "You can dance. I am sure you have many other skills..." the next question almost sent his paint brush skidding across the canvas and ruin his hard work.

He was quiet for a moment as his thoughts were confirmed as he set down the brush."You know a lot." He smiled weakly but didn't grab it again. What could he say? It would certainly come back to reach Sonia. "I..don't know." Was all he could think to say before grabbing at the brush again to continue.

Chéri blinked at few times. Darius didn’t strike them as either stupid nor bigot, but he was definitely a very innocent man. Yet he seemed to have a lot of things clear. So their answer was simple and direct “Why?” they asked. Chéri did not make any effort to let Darius guess just how much they knew about Sonia and about their situation. They stayed there, with their beautiful doll face and waited.

Chéri made their smile big and bright, the sort of smile that stunned people “I do. Would you like to guess which?” it was a game they played often, sometimes innocently, sometimes not.

Chéri had meant something very different from what Darius had understood, but they didn’t say it explicitly, they bent their head to the side. Chéri sighed slowly. “Fear?” they had just decided to figure out where the shyness came from, exactly.

Darius tilted his head curiously though it couldn't be seen by Chéri. "Why what?" He asked as it could have referred to many things in his statement.

With slight smile, he looked ahead at the canvas as he tried to paint. "Well.. i think with your voice. Maybe you sing? Did you mention being able to play an instrument? I can't remember? Or able to cook like a chef? Those are all good skills..." he guessed as he kept his ideas innocent.

He frowned as the other tried to guess and his hand drooped. "I ..guess. I am afraid. I fear failure. Abandonment. Resentment from her or the kids or myself if I find I am not cut out what's wanted from me. I never knew what I wanted in life Chéri. I ... don't know what I could be good at. I'm not good with people, I know. That's why I'm here. And I'm good at this. Maybe not great yet...but I'm good. So that's why I do this." He sounded immediately depressed at the topic.

“Why have you never visited,” Chéri had the answer ready. They expected Darius to run from it.

Chéri widened their smile “That is correct. I can sing really well.” Chéri chortled “Like a chef! And where would I learn that!” they laughed again “What else do you think I can do? I specifically, not someone else. Look at me. It is a good skill for an artist to learn to guess character from the outside.” Chéri was toying a little with Darius, but they didn’t mean it badly, not at all.

Chéri nodded. Who wasn’t afraid of that, they would have asked. “You aren’t. No one ever is when the childen come. They learn after.” They said that with a casual tone. They glanced at the canvas a little “I would like to see. When you are ready.” they expressed. They were a professional model, of course, and would not just go for it like that, but at some point they were going to take a break and then Chéri would have the chance… if Darius wasn’t too shy about it.

Darius seemed in thought and gave a shrug. "I don't go out much and I know you and Sonia there, but you guys could be busy. I don't know what to do if you guys aren't free to talk. I'd rather be invited." He said sincerely. "It isn't that I don't want to be around you." Of course he also didn't have the most sparkling personality so he didn't want to annoy them and be there when they didn't want him. He was bearable in small increments.

He smiled huge and shook his head. "You are beautiful, clever, and artistic. I think you could do anything if you tried with enough time!" His head cocked to the side and he leaned to look around the canvas. "Is there some skill you want to show off?" He said curiously as he felt Cheri was hinting at something.

The eldest Carrington son went back to painting and his smile faltered a bit. "Yes, but some of us could be bad enough we ruin the lives of the children. " Like his father, he was certain he wasn't a good father. He leaned back a moment and held up the brush. "You want to see? You can look any time, but it doesn't look good yet. So don't be too harsh or disappointed." He smiled and waited to see if they wanted to come around and look.

What Darius was saying made no sense to Chéri. The brothel was literally a public space, the fact that they lived there was completely immaterial to its functioning. Their colleagues would even be called “public women” and they would probably get a similar name, if people dared call them anything at all. “So, do you need an invitation? Do you want me to invite you, is that what you are saying?” Chéri was blunt and didn’t much care for games.

Darius threw himself on generic. Not a bad choice, Chéri had to grant him that. At the question, Chéri looked up, meditating. “Maybe,” was it worth it? They weren’t sure. They were sure of many things, of course, but that one specifically…

Chéri puffed a laughter “There are so many things that ruin children’s life, I don’t think you have it in you. Worst you could do, I figure, is cowardice. But I don’t se that winning,” Chéri was guessing, as they often did. But they really couldn’t see much else that made Darius a potential threat. Now, if that was to come off, then maybe, but so far… no, they really couldn’t. Chéri stood up “Is now a good time?” they asked, walking closer to the canvas, but not stepping next to Darius yet.

Darius looked uncertain as he glanced away, back to his painting. "I'm not great with people. I'm alright with you and Sonia, you are my muses. But if I was there and you were busy? I wouldn't know what to do." He nodded quickly, though Cheri couldn't see. "I would prefer to know when you were free and I could come see you." He still wasn't completely sure he'd come. But he would if he were invited. It would be very rude to Cheri not to.

He waited for the other to keep going. When they didn't, he looked around at them. "What is it?" He asked. He was curious now, they were being so mysterious about it.

The words were nice, but he really really wasn't sure that was true. There was a lot he could do wrong, but he wanted to believe them. He brushed at the painting for a moment. "I .. want to believe you. Do you really think so?" He asked. He leaned back when the other started to come around.

"Sure, you can look.." The painting had the shapes coming together and ghosts of what was to come. Some shading for the facial features and hinted pencil marks for the eyes. But the colors were already rich and only needing more depth and detail to bring it to life.

Chéri shrugged “Looking for more models, I am sure you could find something interesting. But then again, very few people are as beautiful,” they stated that as a plain fact and not one they had particular feelings about. Chéri chortled “Do you want an appointment?” they asked, curious if Darius would dare even imagine visting Chéri there. “I was under the impression you weren’t very eager. Is there something there that disturbs you?” Chéri played games, yes, but also often didn’t realise how blunt they were to people.

Chéri shrugged “You don’t pay me enough to lie about that stuff. And I don’t care to lie for free,” they answered with absolute conviction “and if you like to think yourself my friend, you’d better believe I wouldn’t lie,” Chéri stated that plainly, as if no other option was possible.

Chéri approached the canvas. While they lack refinement when it came to painting and had had no formal schooling, they had seen many coming to life. It was a life experience they had simply collected, like many. “You like rich tones. And thick impasto?” they tried to guess, though, again, they weren’t an expert. They turned with curiosity to Darius and tilted their head on the side “I would have thought you’d prefer to work with less contrast, this is bold…” Chéri commented, stepping a little closer to Darius, almost brushing shoulders with him, while fixing a lock of their hair.

Darius waved his hand, "I dont want to gather the courage to ask anyone to be my model if they aren't good enough. Only you and Sonia are so far." He seemed to consider their words. "If you want me there, then invite me at a day and time and I'll be there." Time dragged on for a moment before he replied again. "Not particularly. Just being out in public among basic people disturbs me. I did it enough in my past when I had a friend." And he didn't forget those days as much as he tried.

Chéri didn't respond when he had asked about skills, they moved on to talk about their friendship and lack of interest enough to lie. It actually brought a small smile to his face.

When they moved close, he noticed how close but it seemed like the only way to be to see his art well. "Ah, yes, "he nodded being thrilled they understood that much about painting. "While I have the details drawn underneath I want to form the emotion and spirit of the painting in colors and then build upon it." He looked up at them cheerfully. "It gives it more passion." Ironic from the man who tried to down his own passions and emotions.

Chéri frowned “If they aren’t good enough?” they asked, confused “How do you know if someone is good before actually working with them?” Chéri bent their head to the side. Darius explained how he felt about being in public. Chéri frowned. “Why? Are you afraid they will see you?” they apparently weren’t fully new to the idea or the experience.

When it came to their skills, Chéri decided to drop it. It didn’t have to be an innuendo, but they were not a big fan of talking a lot about themselves and that was already more than they enjoyed.

The painter started to explain. Chéri followed with great attention, trying to figure our “Colour first,” they repeated “more than the sketch…” they had learnt that was a thing, actual paint vs drawing. “Emotion that swallows the details… how do you keep it consistent between different session? The more you talk to some, the more different you and they will feel and your emotions will change. I am not acting as anyone else right now, so how do you keep seeing me as whom you first put there?” Chéri asked. Then they extended a coy little smile and laughed that heartwarming way “What is passion?”

Darius shook his head. "It's what inspires me. I don't get inspired by people easily." He shrugged and thought it was clear when they first met about his muse. Darius looked away. "I'm sure some are fine, but some might not be and I could spend a lot of effort, money, frustration, pain trying to please someone who won't ever be good to work with. I don't like to give up easily when I have my heart set on a painting. "

The painter blinked looking surprised. "No, should I be? Do people not want to look at me? I'm just not good at talking to people, most people think badly because I'm not social and come from money..."

Darius wilted at the questions as he stared at the canvas. "If I worked on the details first, how will I keep them when I work on the emotion. Putting in the color and emotion first helps remind me of the mindset I want and gets me back in the mood I was in. "

He looked at Chéri confused. "Your details might change but I still feel happy to paint you and want to show off this elegance I feel resides within you. It'll be harder to change things as I get more detailed but I'll have the general part.It's... just my process." He felt like cheri was being critical to the way he painted though he was certain he was wrong.

He relaxed at the smile and laugh. "What do you mean? Passion is ... my love for painting. Maybe yours for dancing? I'm sure you know what I mean."

Chéri wrinkled their nose “Of course. But not everyone can hold a pose, has the patience for it or is willing to appear just how you see, for anyone who looks at your canvas. So the contrary is also true” Chéri bent their head back “But, on the other hand, you paint like in a frenzy. You are so fast. Probably if you don’t go with that right away, you will lose whatever you saw?” Chéri was trying to guess, they had no idea how these things worked.

Chéri shook their head and raised their hands “No, I just know that some people don’t want to be seen period. There is no real reason,” Chéri did not understand anxiety or depression on a practical level, but they had seen it and that was their go to conclusion every time they met a recluse or someone that appeared as sch to them.

“Emotions first…” they repeated “it’s the opposite of dancing. The contrary. Maybe that is why it requires being still rather than moving.”

Running a had through their hair, they wondered “Is that what you see in me? Elegance? A little piece of Paris, perhaps?” they said, with one of their warm smiles.

Chéri made a disappointed sound “Mh, I don’t think that is passion. That is dedication. I dance even when I don’t feel like. I love it even when I don’t like it. Passion doesn’t work that way, don’t you think?” they kept smiling all along, with their eyes big and bright “Passion is,” they made a gesture “a little less of a head thing. Some feel it here” they drew a line starting from the back of Darius’s ear down to his neck, down to the beginning of the shoulder, but otherwise kept themselves unchanged, curious to see how the man would react to only the addition of physical contact and nothing more.

Darius nodded. "I've had subjects I didn't love that I merely sketched. Especially when I practiced. I am lucky my two favorite subjects have been such perfect models." He shrugged a bit as he focused on the fabric stretched before him. "You might be right, I feel the need to paint fast to get it out of me quickly. Even if the figure it gone, the memory remains." He fell silent with afrown as he thought of the hidden painting.

"Well maybe there is. I don't mind being seen, but being acknowledged." He seemed to be in thought for a moment. "In my home, it is always being reminded that I'm a disappointment. On the street it is people wondering why I don't help them because everyone needs something." He almost scowled at the thought, but hid it quickly. "I don't think it's wrong to avoid people who just look down on you or want to use you, right? I want to be seen as a person. Sonia does that." he admitted slowly.

The artist seemed surprised at this revelation. "You don't use passion in dancing? I thought so much about it was heart. But then I hadn't spoken with a dancer before. That is interesting..." He continued to paint slowly, adding in some colors for light and shade around the more blob like figure.

He glanced around as he could hear the fabric move and looked to them and smiled. "I do see elegance and beauty. I can see a little Paris in you I think from what I remember of it. You are like.. " He struggled a moment to find the words. "I see someone who .. I just feel like you were born already ascended to a better human. You have grace in your movement even when you aren't trying and your smile looks like it could melt stone." He smiled and went back to painting.

When the other spoke he was quick to reply. "it might be dedication too, but it is definitely passion for me. If I don't want to paint, I don't do it. If I crave to get out my creativity I'll do other things. " His eyes ran over the room towards his menagerie of taxidermied animals to his collection of discarded musical instruments. "And then I always return to my true love... art." He smiled to Cheri then went to look back at his work. That was when the other came up and touched his ear. He gasped and his eyes widened huge. He didn't bat their hand away but looked at them wide eyed.

An explanation made Chéri reach a conclusion that was perhaps a bit shallow, but appropriate for someone who was no painter “Then you must be lucky. Or maybe, you are steel learning how to find beauty into more things. And people,” they theorised, with a simple smile.

Chéri nodded and pointed their fingers in the air, with an excessively triumphant smile “That. That was what I meant. The attention,” they tried to add. It was too much of a subtle concept for their sad language skills to explain. Chéri shrugged “And why would you help them?” the question sounded rhetoric even to them. They shook their head “No, you should be with people who like you,” they concluded. Maybe it wasn’t a universal truth or a truth universally acknowledge, but they still felt like in Darius position it was the most reasonable course of action.

A shurg “I didn’t say never. I didn’t even say often. But sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I am not there. Sometimes I am training because I care about my body being able to dance when I want to dance. It will forget if I wait for the whim and the more I get used to it, the more demanding I will get with my mood. Discipline is more important than that,” they repeated the words of their old ballet master like they would the gospel, without any hesitation. Darius was still in the picture, for good or for worse.

A nod. Beauty and elegance, Chéri could work with that. He could work with Paris. But it was the better human that got them. They put both their hands under their chin and flickered their lashes “An angel,”they said, not without irony, but also putting some extra sweetness in their voice. What they didn’t say, was how much exercise and effort it had cost them, to learn to command their body like that and to push it to that limit of power and grace. Effortlessness was a much more attractive look for them.

Darius showed his toys and Chéri couldn’t help but think that while the man certainly had a lot to express, a great deal of love, and enthusiasm, it also looked like he was trying to distract himself. It wasn’t a bad thing per se, but Chéri thought it made his statements incomplete. They had a sort of confirmation when Darius reacted like that. The man wasn’t at peace with his body.

Chéri repeated the gesture “Oh, you could feel it? Like this?” they then followed his jaw, drawing the bone under the skin and the beard “Or is it more of a throat thing?” they asked, as their fingers wondered down Darius’s neck “Some also do feel it in their stomach…” they kept saying, as their voice got huskier and their eyes stayed big, cheerful and innocent. Only their smile suggested they knew exactly what they were doing, but the contradiction made it easy to ignore it if one wished to.

Darius raised a brow and laughed. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say. I know what's beautiful when I see it. it isn't a matter of searching. I suppose my idea of what's lovely could change, but it isn't something that needs searching."He explained, thinking it was fine. He could tell stories with his paintings but he's painted ugly before and he was now running from that.

The man quickly apologized. "Ah, I'm sorry, my muse. I wasn't thinking about the fact you must keep up the practice since it is so physical. It is very different from painting and I never meant to insult you." he said sincerely.

Darius nodded with a smile. "An angel, someone above us to look upon in beauty and grace."He grinned as he painted a bit thinking it was that simple. If he knew what the other was thinking, he would have corrected them. Not because they were wrong, but he didn't want to admit how right they perhaps were.

"Ah.. ah!" He said quickly when the other was so close, their hands touching at his skin making him tremble and he backed away, almost falling over his table full of paints. He wasn't disturbed by the attention but he was confused. No one ever liked Darius, no one ever wanted Darius. The only persons who had ever hit on him was a mad man that he was certain said it to find something for possible blackmail to mess with the man and the other was the owner of the pony and he wasn't even certain she was hitting on him but wanting a friend to help her with her children. "What are you doing?" He asked quickly. While he knew where they worked, he didn't believe they could be doing this. He wasn't going to pay for any sort of 'bonus' he felt he was paying them more than enough to be a model and he didn't think he'd said anything to make them think he was wanting to ask for this. He had too much respect for the figure before him to ask them for sex, he didn't ask anyone for it. He was enough of a joke amongst the people around him to go around begging for that sort of thing.

Chéri laughed. No it wasn’t. Most people found them beautiful and there was no discussing that. The idea that culture could influence something like taste, preferences or ideals was hard to grasp for someone who had never read in their life, didn’t know what philosophy worked and had a very trial-and-error approach to everything.

Chéri shrugged. Insults were no news and Darius was not cruel towards them. But it made them more weary of saying anything more when it came to ballet, as they had little patience and giving the man the time to think about it and to reach his own conclusion was more than Chéri was willing to do.

“Born to be bless mortals with beauty, born for joy…” they were repeating sentences they head heard from other people. Nothing of that applied to how it felt to be them. It hardly ever did. Chéri was entirely disconnected emotionally from how men felt about their apparence, but that had been such a key factor in their survival that they basked in it and looked like nothing else mattered. Whenenver they were getting close to seduction, they managed to lose themselves in the fantasy as well.

Darius back away and almost fell. Chéri bent their head to the side and stayed in position for a moment. The man was so scared they didn’t get closer for the moment, sure to scare him again, even more. “I was explaining something to you,” they said, matter of factly and blinked a few times “Did I scare you?” they said, their eyes getting big, sweet and apologetic, as they shrunk, pretending to be sorry to have scared him. Chéri looked away, getting a little red on purpose, as if they had betrayed a liking they didn’t realise they had for Darius “I…” they didn’t know how to finish the sentence. They were just trying to pretend to be confuse and need some type of reassurance. The lost little duckling act scored well with some people and they figured, perhaps, Darius would have enjoyed comforting them. They bowed their head, in a self conscious display “Oh, maybe I should go…” they weren’t going anywhere.

The comment had Darius' mind spiral elsewhere. "You must be born to be beautiful, some people struggle all their lives without achieving it, but you still have to work to bring it out at it's best. Otherwise, beautiful people will just be lovely. If even that. Though there are some truly blessed to be beautiful without effort, but it will only last so long. But the same is joy, one can find joy easily if they were blessed to be born into money or enough beauty and luck to get money. Then joy is easy to come by. I struggle with that, but I also was never born to be beautiful. Though..."He shrugged staring at the painting. "Perhaps I was born with something wrong inside. Missing or unaligned? That's why I'm no good with people. Or I had it and my family devoured it at an age I'm too young to remember.." He shrugged.

Then the other had come upon him with that tease and he'd been on the floor before he realized it. He stared up at them and backed up enough to stand and brush himself off. He picked up the spilled water and grabbed a cloth to clean it up, carefully averting his eyes. "I wasn't scared, just startled. And it wasn't that it was.." he waved a hand gesticulating wildly. "the touching. I'm not used to people touching me." He said sharply and became immediately embarrassed. He immediately turned when she mentioned leaving and shook his head reaching out to take a hand. "I'm sorry, it isn't like that at all! You have been fantastic, there is no need to apologize."

Eh. They had pushed a little too much, Darius was musing beyond what Chéri had requested. It might go either way, which was why that was a little bit of a concern. “That is the nature of beauty. That is why most people desire it so much. Because it is fickle and bound to disappear. It will be beautiful like this for you today, tomorrow… but my beauty days are counted, nonetheless. And the only way you or me can honour that, is by making the most of it,” Chéri didn’t say this in an aggressive tone, they looked positively angelic as they went on with that imagery, as if they were talking about something heavenly that didn’t feel like blood, bones and skin to them.

It was the last thing they said before shrinking into their shyiness and confusion act. “I didn’t intend to disgust you,” they most definitely hadn’t, but insecurity shall do. Chéri turned “I-I am sorry…” a little bit of hesitance and some intent suspended? Perhaps that could do. He was holding their hand now, so that helped. They kept looking unsure “I made you uncomfortable. I thought… I wanted…” they sighed and their big eyes became a little brighter, threatening tears. A hand was a good start, but Chéri figure they’d probably need to have Darius embrace them to get anything going. The barrier needed a little more breaking down.

Darius nodded in agreement. "That is a great shame, but I will make your beauty last forever. A part of you will be immortal, though I think you have a long time before it even begins to fade. I am very careful in my muses." He said very matter of factly. It wasn't just being young and pretty, it had to be a very special beauty to catch his eye, and years will only make the beauty more refined, he felt certain.

Darius' eyes went wide and he placed his other hand very lightly on 'Calliope's hand. He didn't want to act too bold and make them feel trapped, he didn't want to seem like some kind of monster like his older brother had been. Calliope had to feel free to leave. "You do not disgust me at all! You are wonderful, I am sorry. It was all my fault, I assure you. Please do not go. What did you think you want? If you want anything, just say it!" He said, staring at them wanting to help and not scare them off at the same moment. "I am so so sorry. Please tell me.'

Chéri saw their beauty as a tool, a reflection, really, something they had learnt to see from other people. Their relationship with beauty was more child-like, focused on the details. What they had said about beauty wasn’t about them. It was about Darius.

Darius took Calliope’s hands and they barely managed to avoid sobbing, or at least that was what it looked like. They seemed to calm only when Darius held their hands. Chéri sighed deeply “I…I am sorry,” they used one of his hands to get rid of a tear they had produced with a lot of effort. “I didn’t mean to startle you earlier. I… wanted to touch you…” they whispered that, as if they barely dared putting the words together “I wanted to caress your face,” maybe putting it in slightly more elegant words could do. It was risky, but they had tears in their eyes and it would have meant Darius was very different from what they had thought if he refused on the spot.

Darius didn't know how Cheri saw beauty, but he had a very small view of the world and knew that much at least. To him beauty was something precious in whatever way one found it and should be preserved if possible.

He shook his head repeatedly as he tried to soothe their sadness. "I am so very sorry! No one wants to touch me." Sonia did, but that was different. She knew he was safe and liked him for that. He leaned down without getting right into their face. "Please, touch away. I will never react that way again to you for something like this, I give my word." He let go of their hand to hold it up as if to make the promise more official. Then he took the hand again and ran a thumb over the back of it, it seemed to be something he'd seen to soothe someone. "Please, does this help? If I can dry your tears, tell me how."

“But I do…” whispers were probably going to work better. Chéri almost stepped back when Darius came closer. They were now putting themselves out there a little too much, they needed to create a little bit of tension, or they risked losing the moment. Darius had to start thinking he wanted that to, he had to hope for them to come closer, he had to imagine what they were about to do before they did it. That was just how it worked. Darius held their hands up and Chéri found it could work well to lean forward and kiss them both. Would Darius enjoy a little bit of devotion? Perhaps a little blush? Chéri made their cheek burn just a little “Beautiful hands…” they told, moe to themselves than to Darius. Chéri nodded. They turned their heads to the side. Was Darius ready to be kissed? Perhaps they should ask to be kissed. Give him a little bit of agency, don’t scare him entirely.

Could Darius really be scared of a kiss? He was scared of thumb behind is ear, no doubt a kiss would be shocking. A little bit of her, though, could be given. Chéri wetted their lips with hesitation, as if they couldn’t speak, then left them semi open and whispered again “Will you kiss me, Darius? Please.” That could do.

Darius looked at Calliope, panicked he was scaring off his muse and he honestly didn't like seeing them sad. He squeezed the hand just a little. "I see that, I am so sorry how I reacted. You don't need to act shy or scared, please. You are perfect, and have no reason to be so nervous of me." He would never want to hurt them, wasn't that clear? He had never meant to upset them, and he had no idea how to fix this. Then his hands were kissed and the man felt his cheeks turn red , it was shocking and something he never experienced. Beautiful hands? They created beauty, sure but.. He shook his head and tried to not let this situation be misread. He took their hands again in his. "You do not need to compliment me. You are the one who should be complimented."

Then he heard Calliope make a request. He heard it, at least he thought he did. He told himself he was wrong, because that was not something anyone asked of him. He shook his head looking at them completely confused. "You.. what?" He laughed nervously. "Sorry, you will have to say it again. I thought you asked for a kiss and that is silly. You could be kissed by far better than me." Of course, he was rich but technically it was in turmoil and could be taken away if he didn't get inherit it. "Anything you want, I will do my best to give to you." He assured them, though he only then noticed they'd wet their lips and giving him a look. He wondered if someone slipped him something in his wine.

Chéri heard words and heard intentions. The intentions were good, the words pointless. If they suddenly shifted their act, Darius would actually start to believe they were pretending. And that was counterproductive. No, they weren’t going to do that. “I am sorry,” they said again, instead, covering their mouth, as if overwhelmed. Darius shook his head. Of course, accepting compliments would have been too much. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t want more. “But… that is how I feel..” they said, their voice becoming small again as if they were let down by the fact that he didn't believe their very sincere feelings.

Chéri lowered their eyes at the answer “I want you to kiss me. Is it so absurd to believe that I, too, wish for someone and want and desire? I know I played the object of desire act. I know. It looks good on me, it gets me far, but I too have a heart, a body, and a head filled with images of what would feel good. And beautiful. And I can’t stop thinking just… how warm your lips must feel. You are so good at… seeing me. Not just looking at me. It feels good. It feels close. I am not used to that,” they totally were. They had said these words many many times before, but they worked, so why not use them again? Chéri wasn’t one for words, but they knew their part. This part required them.

“I apologise, I shouldn’t have asked. I said too much” It was now time for reticence. Like waltz, one forward, one back, turn. “I just wish… I wish you could believe me…” they bit their lower lip, making it redder by the reaction. “But I know it is hard,” maybe Darius enjoyed self-pitying when others did it too.

Darius didn't think deeply about the words. He didn't study them or try to find anything insincere, because Darius was caught in the moment and was completely focused on cheering Calliope up. "You honestly don't need to apologize, your feelings are fine. Don't feel bad for what you feel."

He frowned worriedly. "Not at all! I don't mean to have you think that! You are wonderful, Calliope. Don't think that there's anything wrong with it. I just.. meant you could..' His words died because then it would sound like he was telling them they had bad taste or were wrong. "I certainly find nothing wrong with that and it isn't disgusting.'

They didn't believe him. Yes, he didn't believe that they could want to kiss him, but he couldn't argue with this reaction. He placed his hands on their shoulders and drew them into a hug. "Of course not. Please always feel free to tell me how you feel. And I.. I do believe you!" He placed his lips to theirs quickly and immediately after starting, that uncertainty and realizing what he was doing hit him and he wanted to pull away. Instead, he made sure he didn't hold them too tightly they could easily pull away. Maybe slap him for this. He certainly felt like he was doing everything wrong if he should be doing it at all. This was his perfect model, not someone for someone like him to be touching.

No wonder Sonia was having such troubles getting what she wanted from Darius. The man was so concentrated on unironic self deprecation, Chéri was surprised he found time for anything else at all. Which meant they had to do the opposite. A small, relieved smile expanded on their lips. And oh, how warm they could look when they smiled, how joyful. With that sort of smile, it was hard not to believe one was making a difference. And Chéri had all the interest to make Darius believe that.

“Wonderful,” the repeated softly “beautiful, graceful… you are so generous with me” by stating things everyone can see, they mentally added, but it was fine. Compliments didn’t impress them anyway. “I could,” they repeated “but I don’t. And you know…” they got closer, their breath getting shorter “you can’t tell your heart what to feel,” they were working more with their body right now, but that wouldn’t fly with Darius. Been there, done that. It had been ticked and there was no coming back.

Finally, the hug came. All this work for a hug, Chéri thought to themselves. My, what will they have to do to convince him to get out of his clothes. It was going to be a long one, this one. Chéri kissed back as if they had never kissed somebody of their own volition, as if kissing Darius was liberating and enlightening and sweet. The kept repeating themselves those were the feelings. Chéri surrounded his shoulders with both their arms and pulled themselves against his body, showing for a moment how strong and hard their every muscle was, despite their petite frame. Strong and petite. That was their brand and they were proud of it. Now, to snogging, Darius would need to get used to that. The kiss had to tast like hope.

Relief came to Darius when Calliope granted him a smile. He nodded in agreement, "yes you are all those things. I am happy to do what I can to please you. And yes you..." He stopped talking noticing how they acted as they moved closer to him and the way they were breathing. He almost stood straight up, but he'd already given in to please them.

They kissed him back, which was hopeful that he wasn't failing miserably. Then they were holding him tight with strong arms. That was nice, but still.. He wanted to pull away and tell them they were too good to give in to something like this. But he didn't want to hurt them, and he didn't consider what could go wrong. He held Calliope close and held the kiss trying to act more confident but it made him alert to anything that seemed like it was wrong so he could pull back instantly.

“Are you?” Chéri asked, whispering “Happy, I mean. Are you happy when I am close?” no he wasn’t, he was nervous, but they needed a bit of self reflection on his part if they wanted any hope of actually getting results.

“You kiss so well,” they said, with surprise in their voice, as they repeated the kisses over and over, as if they were hungry. Darius was average, to be honest, but Chéri had expected worse, especially when he was so tensed. Maybe he was even good when he wasn’t that nervous. Not good enough to impress Sonia, though. “I feel so safe in your arms, like I no longer need to fight,” they weren’t going to tell him he was a good protector and they’d better stick to what was realistic and their own impression. Chéri choose to become sweeter, loosening her muscles, as if she was gradually letting the tension go. It was going to be a long snogging session. Better than talking, though.

"Of course.." Darius said quickly. And he was, within reason. This was too close. His muses were to be looked upon like on a pedestal and treated like the living art. They were not meant to be touched, not by him. Why was Sonia and Calliope breaking this unspoken rule? He wanted to please them, but this also felt wrong.

He was familiar with this feeling though, that something wasn't right. That if he spent a moment to really think about it, it would be obvious and he could decide to stop and expose it or just walk away. Whatever was ahead of him wasn't good. It was the same feeling he'd had with Chris. That had the man pause even as he was being kissed repeatedly by his beautiful model. He thought about the past and the feelings he'd had as warped as they were. Even as he nodded along to whatever it was Calliope was telling him. He didn't feel the fear he had when he'd been around Chris, but even the fear didn't stop him from desiring the man. Why had he told him no when the other had suggested it? Even if it had been in jest. The stone, that's why. He had feared the man was making a joke so he'd have an excuse to punish him. But there were no stones here, and the other's lips were on his even as his mind was running faster than perhaps his legs ever had.

This was a uneasiness he was familiar with, it was even nostalgic. He drew the other close and buried his head into their neck almost lifting them off the floor. He'd missed his chance before but perhaps he could make up for the past? It was a terrible idea that only lead to pain, his head was throwing reason at him but he didn't listen even though he hadn't had enough to drink to use it as an excuse.

"Yes, I want you happy. Just tell me what you want me to do." Chris, I miss you you evil bastard.

[cw: implied violence]

Of course. Was there any other acceptable answer? There wasn’t. Chéri could feel the uneasiness, it was very evident. At the same time, if Darius really hadn’t wanted this, he would have started saying no by now. Chéri didn’t think it the case. They had seen how he had looked, they had felt small movements and sighs that were possibly invisible to everybody else but not to them. They had been surviving on those snippets of desire for a long time. Chéri knew it was there and that they only needed to wait for Darius to break.

Man broke different ways for them, some became enraged, some cried, some let their mind go free and their hands be freer. Darius was the best kind: he searched for more contact, in lieu of intimacy. Chéri smiled to themselves, while they made a small sigh of delight, as they pretty much climbed on Darius. Aaaand words again.

Chéri considered briefly to just get on with it. Again, words really didn’t come easy to them and they disliked using them because they generally weren’t, in their eyes, reliable, but Darius clearly needed a warning. He needed more, actually, and Chéri had half an idea what that might be, but they weren’t going to mess with that. While they didn’t trust words, they trusted their instincts and their instincts set a reasonable boundary for them.

They took their robe off, counting on the fact that the purple spot on their thigh wasn’t currently visible and then said “I want to see you the way you see me. I want to make you feel good. And I want you to show me just how good it feels,” that was the best they could do and as vague as they could, as their standard go to was Let’s fuck and that still felt redundant sometimes. They could be more specific, but they were pretty sure the words had the potential to horrify Darius, much more than the act ever could. Because if there was something dirty about Chéri, was their vocabulary. They started to undo his buttons “Will you let me?” better to ask one extra time with this one.

Darius had felt unease when he held them, like something was going to go horribly wrong any moment. When they had fallen into him and he practically held them up in his arms it had started to feel nice too and comforting and he'd begun to truly believe in what Calliope had said. Then they pulled away and his hands felt empty. He barely lifted his head to watch when they'd undressed and he looked them over. The view would have made a beautiful painting, but there was no brushes or canvas before him.

He was quiet and didn't know how to respond. What was wanted of him? He didn't know how to 'feel good' or show them. What if he did things wrong? He'd lose his muse and this moment already was eating at him as he wanted to step back and study it and what he should be feeling and what he was really feeling. It was all too alien and a lot at once. But he was certain he didn't want them storming out of his room dissatisfied and annoyed at him.

His shoulders slumped and he reached out, but didn't grab them before. As their fingers worked at his buttons, his fingers delicately touched their arms and up to their shoulders as delicate as if they would collapse at any touch. "Please.."He said softly almost begging in a sad tone. "Just tell me what to do. Use me." That's what they wanted, right?