There was no answer from the first letter writer. The fastest response by far was from Swordfish.

Quote:Dear Not-Richard,

What you lack in means, you make up for in wit. I confess I had wondered, what with your emphases – and I take no small delight in our shared realizations.

Perhaps it is morbid that I rejoice, too, in our shared suffering. I too found myself lost in a mirage, Not-Richard. Stranded in a rapidly shrinking desert oasis when I thought I had found an island. My maiden was a siren whose last shipwreck proved fatal to herself. I was on the ship, but I managed to swim ashore and watch it sink.

There are nights I scorn my survival as much as my enthusiasm for her song. She did not deserve the attention I had paid her, but neither did she deserve to die for her unscrupulous ways. I did everything I could for her, until I saw her in the harsh light of day.

I regret that too, on the occasional day that ends in ‘y’.

But, that is not tonight. Tonight, I sit with a glass of wine and think of champagne for two. I may be wearing nothing more than a bathrobe, wondering if I might bask in another letter of shared suffering. Pardon my boldness, but perhaps these loveless bastards did not deserve us and had to make way for us to find each other.

Sincerely,
-Swordfish

More practically, a letter arrived a couple days later from R. S., one of the ones actually answering the ad’s intended purpose.

Quote:It will not be a problem. I prefer an older husband.

Let us meet at the teahouse, then, this Monday at 2PM. I will be the one wearing a pearl necklace.

-R. S.