As he had returned to his seat and ate some of his roll after telling some of his history, he was feeling better. To have someone he could be so honest with and unload his secret past , letting it all out.

As soon as he swallowed, the other man spoke and he was grateful he had because otherwise he was certain he'd have choked. The other man seemed surprised it was his only time. He looked over confused and surprised then down at the table.

"Well... yes. I never went looking for someone. I refused since it was wrong. I focused on my job and I mean.. it's not like I never wanted to. But it's easy when you don't know if anyone would ...be like that. And I couldn't risk asking someone who didn't. Besides. Even if I knew someone the could have found my scars disturbing. I have enough troubles without that extra rejection. "

His voice faded as he looked down, feeling shame stir up again. "I never felt so lonely and wanting someone until I met a guy I truly wanted. It's weird . And I wish I could go back to the way things used to be. I was never happy and never knew what love could feel like. But it also meant I never noticed the absence so heavily."