Elijah stopped eating immediately and put down the spoon to look at Malachi. He glanced away and shook his head immediately.

"Of course not! He's wonderful and far better than I. He is more in control of himself. He's the one who has put the distance between us to protect us both. " He rubbed at his face a little, feeling the shame burn and tried to ignore him. "He went away first to try to save himself and get over this, and me. And I made it all worse following him. Then I come back and want to continue where we left off even though I knew how he felt. I respected his decision, which is why I'm here now."

He stared away and didn't touch the food again. "He knows this isn't right, and has lifted himself above it. I'm the one who still wallows in it because I can't help myself. I am weak and want to feel these things still even though I know I shouldn't. I should be stronger like him."