06-05-2022, 03:43 AM
Once his worst fears had been relieved, Fintan's mind had to immediately race back to what the doctor had said. Two beautiful and healthy girls. His knees nearly gave out as though a wave had just crashed over him. A wave of what, he couldn't confirm - fear, perhaps? Gratitude, joy, deep inadequacy, love in boundless measure? An overwhelming combination of all of them and then some, he suspected.
And Luc had already slipped from his grasp. Still, Fintan dared not raise his voice to call the boy in these hallowed halls. It felt religious, the creation of life from the other side of a closed door. How foolish it suddenly seemed to think of God as a man.
"Of course, doctor. If that is what is best for her and what she wishes then it will be done. Four is already more than I could have ever asked of her."
Four
How had the size of their family nearly doubled overnight? His head was spinning as he gingerly entered the room and was immediately handed a baby. His hands felt clumsy and it struck him just how small she was - little more than a round face and a fine fuzz of blonde hair swaddled in a blanket. Fintan hadn't known Luc or Maggie as infants and had never held them like this before. He stood there in the doorway, barely breathing in fear that any move he made would wake her. When he finally looked up at Aurore there were tears in his eyes.
Mrs. Lockwood was good enough to guide him to the chair beside the bed and he sat gently, cradling the child in his arms and already lamenting that he would eventually have to let her go. He looked at his wife, their daughter in her arms and he was lost for words. Aurore looked tired, more so than he had ever seen. But she was always so skilled at hiding it, the admiral's daughter who wore indifference like a mask and rouge like a weapon. But now she just looked human.
"I'm sorry," he said, the words leaving his lips without truly knowing why. But they felt like the right ones. He laid a hand over hers and all the other words he wanted to say bottled up in his throat. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. I'm right here. I'll always be right here. He owed her a debt now, one he knew he could never repay.
And Luc had already slipped from his grasp. Still, Fintan dared not raise his voice to call the boy in these hallowed halls. It felt religious, the creation of life from the other side of a closed door. How foolish it suddenly seemed to think of God as a man.
"Of course, doctor. If that is what is best for her and what she wishes then it will be done. Four is already more than I could have ever asked of her."
Four
How had the size of their family nearly doubled overnight? His head was spinning as he gingerly entered the room and was immediately handed a baby. His hands felt clumsy and it struck him just how small she was - little more than a round face and a fine fuzz of blonde hair swaddled in a blanket. Fintan hadn't known Luc or Maggie as infants and had never held them like this before. He stood there in the doorway, barely breathing in fear that any move he made would wake her. When he finally looked up at Aurore there were tears in his eyes.
Mrs. Lockwood was good enough to guide him to the chair beside the bed and he sat gently, cradling the child in his arms and already lamenting that he would eventually have to let her go. He looked at his wife, their daughter in her arms and he was lost for words. Aurore looked tired, more so than he had ever seen. But she was always so skilled at hiding it, the admiral's daughter who wore indifference like a mask and rouge like a weapon. But now she just looked human.
"I'm sorry," he said, the words leaving his lips without truly knowing why. But they felt like the right ones. He laid a hand over hers and all the other words he wanted to say bottled up in his throat. I'm sorry. I love you. Thank you. I'm right here. I'll always be right here. He owed her a debt now, one he knew he could never repay.
