This letter was decidedly less fragrant than the last ones, but it still had the same high quality paper and ornate hand.

Dearest Not-Not Richard,

I suppose I brought this upon us, and I apologize. Much as my mind continues to wander what could be, and what could have been, the distance is greater than postal. That you humored me this far is gracious. That you have vastly raised my expectations for the men I may in the future pursue, less so.

I jest. (Mostly.)

Perhaps the light in this darkness you need is not another ship lost at sea, but a creature used to navigating the seas themselves. Perhaps, for you, I can keep these scales and keep my distance. Is it so much to live two worlds apart when these worlds intersect so sweetly?

There is a Danish author who wrote a story of a mermaid. She wanted nothing more than to be loved, but her attractions were peculiar for her species. It was not another mermaid (merman?) she sought to ease her loneliness, but a human. A human man at great distance, whom she could only watch. This love drove her to seek ludicrous things. She made a Faustian deal based on the mere chance that she could invoke in this man the feelings he evoked in her. What commences from here is several passages of phallic, sword-and-unpleasant-impalement imagery.

In the end, the prince chooses a woman who is not even who he thinks she is over a mermaid who suffers her own form of a death by a thousand cuts and a dash of salt over her still-dying body.

Let us not be another tragedy in each others’ stories. We have enough tragedies on the horizon. My heart clenches with every Oscar Wilde headline, but I feel a certain calm in reading your letters.

Sincerely,
-Swordfish

To my uncaught Swordfish,

I feel like a tragedy to have turned you away but it was for the best. You are a being of passion that I long to be more like, but I do care for your safety and security.

Thank you for sharing such a tragic tale, it shows that a heart is not enough and one can never be so certain what another is looking for.

I do not wish you to find such an end. I hope to hear from you again as it always gives me joy and comfort and I pray that one day things will return to how they were or maybe better for those like us, watching a beautiful man in the distance unable to approach.

Sincerest wishes, Not-Not-Richard

This letter arrives in Elijah’s mail box a couple days after their … lovely date.

Unlike Elijah, Zechariah dove straight for the stationary over the scratch paper.

Dear Elijah,

It seems I am the one who was disappointing company, and for that I apologize.

Several drafts denying any history of drinking-related disasters ended up in the trash as he remembered this contradiction or that. It was not … a problem. Alcohol just came with some funny behaviors.

I had a dream where a large bale of hay was rolling downhill and continually growing until it sunk the entire island, but beyond that I am relieved to say there were no dreams of mention.

I enjoyed your company immensely.

On top of those denials were long, detailed plans of how they would spend the rest of their lives together, mixed in with more profuse denials of any drinking-related history before realizing that was false.

I hope to have the opportunity to again, soon.

To many tomorrows,
-Zechariah

… Oh, God. How did he ever look Crane in the eye again? This was humiliating.

Elijah had not wanted to rush a reply and seem too eager even as he had read the letter several times over the next two days and had written letters and tossed them into the fire as they didn't meet an undiscovered standard.

To Zechariah, 
So, we are dismissing the pen names now since our identities are out? There is no need for such things anymore, so I will follow suit and revel in something more personal. 

I am glad to hear you had a good time. I had worried my company was lacking and you partook more than usual to get through the evening. I did have a lovely time and wish to meet again. If you sincerely liked my company, we can spend a lot more time together and discuss what we are. I would not cast away a casual acquaintance,  but if there is a chance of something more serious and deep, I wish to know how to achieve it. Call me a romantic. 

Your dream sounds interesting, I do not know what it could mean. I hope things remain well. Whether we do or do not come eye to eye soon, write me again. I treasure your words.

Elijah.

This letter arrives a week later.

Dear Elijah,

I partook in slightly more that evening because I had the company of someone beautiful, inside and out. In hindsight, what a terrible idea! We likely could have had a pleasant eve with wine and cheese alone.

Before you entertain further ideas of harbors and romantic ideals of a purely platonic ideal … I must tell you something. I am now engaged. I had put out an ad quite some time ago, and paid it in advance so long ago I hardly even remembered it let alone expected someone to answer it. She made a very compelling argument over a barrel that involved a fiasco of my own making.

I know not what this means for our friendship, but I cherish it still.

-Zechariah

Was disappointment something that could be seen in penmanship? If so, it was clear in the letter that was sent.

Zechariah,

You're far too kind, I am nothing beyond average if that! It is alright, hindsight I am sure will lessen the chance you would do the same again. I do hope you had an enjoyable evening otherwise.

I understand. After all, we met with me attempting a marriage so what sort of person would I be to judge you? You succeeded where as I've had my name smeared in a now popular article. I do hope whatever occurs gives you either the happiness or safety you are seeking.

No sort of relationship should put a damper on a friendship. You know I am easy to find and if you wish to continue writing, I will treasure each word.

-Elijah

This response was waiting near immediately.

Dear Elijah,

‘Average,’ he says! Had you been average, there would have been no temptation. I reminisce it almost as much as I reminisce the nights writing to you, and I suppose that is as sure a sign as any that that is where it should have remained.

You are a better man than I, then, Elijah. I brewed with such jealousy! Such frustration! Such loneliness at the knowledge you were still seeking whilst you had me. But now the shoe is on the other foot, and I see nothing but your grace and your pragmatism. You make me want to be a better man, Elijah – a man worth knowing, worth fighting for – as any good friend does. Much as I wish I had taken things as slow with you as I had my first love, our time was destined to be cut short and I am grateful we made what we did of it.

We should catch dinner together soon, my treat. I know a fabulous place not far from the villas, an Italian restaurant with a fantastic view. What is a good time for you, my dear friend?

Fondly,
-Zechariah

My good friend Zechariah,

Had only I been more tempting... But I must jest, because I would never want to sway you from the course you must take. And we always have our letters from the past. 

Do not be hard on yourself, for I am no better. I am touched you felt anything towards me by my words alone and they were strong enough you were kind to me after knowing me. While I admit I find the word friend to be beautiful, to be called so by your lips leaves a despondency that won't soon leave.

Your words remind me of something someone very recently told me. You don't have to be a perfect person, when you are in love you are perfect for them. And it is something I have kept with me. I hope you find that meaning and it brings you joy. I don't want you to be in an uncaring marriage and reminiscing over old letters or in sorrow over days ending in y. I want you to find yourself and your happiness. Take life slowly, as we are still young enough to believe we have a long future and do not let things worry on what you should have done. We had a nice moment together that we can keep with us even as we take a crossroad down a path that we always saw possibly ahead. 

I am your friend, and I will be happy to have dinner with you. While I may be lacking in many things, I am a good listener. And while you have a lot going on in your life ahead, I think being your friend is the position I am needed for the most and accept it graciously. 

How about on Friday evening if that works for you? I will get off work early enough to clean up since I do not think you'd wish me to go to such a place in uniform, even if you allowed it in your home. 

Your good friend

Elijah

Did this one … smell like cologne?

My dear friend Elijah,

Your siren call is strong, but I pride myself in being a man who lives untethered to my temptations. Much as I have yearned to tie you up and tie you down both, I suspect we both seek a simpler life than that. A life that is not consumed by passion, by lust, by attraction so strong we hardly make it out of bed! Can you imagine the horrors of such a life?

I cannot. Please describe it detail.

I jest. Truly.

You are perfect as you are, Elijah, and I can imagine the turmoil two high-profile lives would bring upon us both. Such is the path to imprisonment, and the only bars I want you subject to are songs that need not see daylight.

My friend, my dear friend. I would be honored to share a dinner table with you. Perhaps, one day, this woman will need me as I need you, as a ship yearns for the stars to show him the way.

Formal is fine, though I suspect the restaurant would not turn away a constable! When I take you to the opera, however, there is a strict dress code.

With platonic love,
-Zechariah