"I am ruined. No man will want ta marry me!" She sobbed this out but did not pull away. "And me son is now considereda bastard, he didn't do anything ta deserve the cruelty he's ta face, ne'er mind his da and not wantin' ta take care of o' any other of his bairns. I've already brought shame to me family with this whole mess, Jacob didn't deserve that!"

And then it hit her too that them being alone together frequently was also a huge thing to worry about too even though the others that resided in the manor were friendly... There were those who might talk. She swallowed heavily and lowered her eyes.

"Aye, I am a fool. I may as well be a harlot if others knew of the time spent alone with ye... I would endure it meself but ye don't deserve ta be saddled with a woman ye don't love ta save reputation. I wouldn't trade the time away even if I was punished fer the rest o' me days for me foolishness. I cannot endure the thought of me bein' a yoke around yer neck or ye sufferin' because o' me, though. But the thought of not ever seein ye again... Tis a far worse punishment but I would take it." She lowered her head.

Edward was at a loss for words as she let it all out. He couldn't deny that there was some truth to what she was saying. The culture of America was less proper than in Britain but even across the pond unwed women with children were treated very poorly. It was not something he personally understood but being cruel to someone for something that did not impact his life at all did not seem very logical to him.

"I am not particularly worried about the opinion of other people, I never have been. I'm a widower and whatever others say of me is their own business and who I wish to spend my time is my business. You could never be a yoke around my neck Ruth so do not fret about that."

"Ye don't understand," she half laughed, half cried out, "I love ye, Edward Blackwood! If I don't leave now, I don't know that I could ever!" She looked into his eyes. "I love ye so profoundly that it hurts. Me ma said not to love ye... as if I had a choice." The next words came out brokenly, "Goodbye, Edward..." And then she leaned in and gave him a kiss.. it was a chaste, restrained one, one that should be so much more but couldn't, and then she pulled back to start to leave, her reluctance clear but her form backing only half an arm's length as her eyes could not help but stay riveted upon his face as if to memorize each line and angle. She then started to turn away.

That confession didn't catch him nearly as off guard as it should have. While he had his blindspots he was an intelligent man and he could put the pieces together. The moment she informed him how she felt things clicked in his mind. Especially when she kissed him which drove home how she felt though when she pulled away he had to consider how he felt.

His hand caught her wrist and he shook his head. "Ruth, just... Wait. Come sit with me and we should talk... I... Care very deeply for you and while I do not know that I am quite ready to love again I think I am ready to try."

She stopped and turned to look at him. Her dark eyes settled for no less than his eyes. Her lips trembled a little. She could not find the words to say to him. Ruth then shook her head, not to walk away from him and end the conversation. It became clear that she was beyond words.

She was beyond words so he took it on himself to coax her toward the table and settled her down. She had well and truly put him on the back foot, her confession of love had forced him to realize that he definitely had strong feelings for her. It didn't matter to him that she had a bastard son, she'd thought she'd been in wedlock when she had Jacob after all. He was mildly concerned that there was some displacement on his part, he was a man who lost a wife and a child. Was it fate that brought him a woman with a son and no husband or was he simply looking to fill a hole?

She sat down as he helped her to her seat, but if he tried to pull his hand away, her good one gripped it. She lifted her gaze to his. For a minute, she didn't move for a pause, but she soon lifted it to her face, slightly tentative but then she just sort if rested her cheek in his palm.

"Er, are you alright? You've been awfully silent. I'm starting to get concerned, well, more concerned."

He knew she'd gone through quite the gauntlet of emotions but she was just silently nuzzling her cheek into his palm now which didn't tell him much of anything of what was going through her head.

"What else is there ta say?" She asked. She let go of his hand and looked away. "Ye've heard it." And then she looked as though she would bolt again. There was pain in her voice.

"I just want ta be held." Was all she choked out after.

"I'm not sure. I imagined we would talk a bit about the possibility of a courtship. But if you just want to be held." He hesitated and then wrapped his arms around her tugging her into an embrace.