[content warning: Reference to child marriage, reference to statutory rape]

The girl sat on a bench on the platform, bent over, with her face in her hands, sobbing. Her cotton bag sat beside her, forgotten. She didn't care if people coming off the train that had just arrived saw her like this. If they despised her for such a public display of emotion, she despised them back. And perhaps even now, when all hope was gone, she was still hoping for someone, anyone, to feel some pity for her. That someone would care.

Tomorrow was her wedding. And in a last act of despair, Alice had gone to find Noah. If he had changed his mind and wanted to marry her, like Elijah said, why had he still been avoiding her? He had hurt her more than she could ever express, but as long as there was a glimmer of hope that he loved her, or at least cared about her, and that she could marry him rather than Tobias, she was willing to forgive him. 

She had found him at last and had begged him to marry her, to talk to father, to work with him, and love her again. He had told her she was better off with the other guy, who had a farm and money, and who knew what he was doing. Alice had cried and had told him she still loved him. Noah had said that there was no way he would go near her father. Alice had begged and begged and begged, promising she would do anything, and she would always love him, and accept any conditions, if he just married her. Reluctantly, the boy had finally suggested they could run away together to Scarborough. Alice had agreed, although her heart had been aching. She would still have to leave her family and Whitby. She would hurt her family, running away again. She couldn't even risk telling Anne in advance. But perhaps once they were married, they would be accepted, and they could return to Whitby. Either way, had she any choice? And so she had agreed to steal money from home once again and meet him at the station at three. And she had done so.

Except, Noah hadn't been there. 

She had waited. She had watched people board the train to Scarborough, wishing the boy would hurry up, and beginning to despair. She had watched the train depart at quarter past three, with a lump in her throat. And still she had waited, dying a little every minute. She had watched other trains come in and depart. And finally, she had sunk down on the bench.

She should go home. Otherwise, father would find out her things and the money were gone. But what did it really matter? Tomorrow she would have a different man in charge of her anyway.

When the last train arrived, Benny had stepped out. He had a bag of some supplies that he couldn't find in Whitby. He'd been about to walk by when he noticed her. He frowned and looked at her. "You look like a mess. I don't think there's any more trains going. You missed yours?"

Even though he swore she was getting married to that weird guy. "Or was someone supposed to be getting off?" He looked around but no one seemed to be waiting around. He huffed and stepped closer. "You can't just sit there, you know."

Alice looked up. Benny. What did it still matter? She wiped her face, but that did little to hide her red eyes and gaunt face. "I don't know..." she whispered, frowning. "It don't matter..." Nothing did. Noah didn't love her. And her life was over. If she died here of cold, at least she didn't have to leave Anne, and Whitby, and she would never be Tobias'. A vague memory came to her mind of herself and her sister running across the moors with their hair and corsets loose. Would that she had died that night.

Benny walked over and sighed. He reached into the bag and held out his hand. "Open your hand. I'd say your mouth but I'm sure you don't trust what I'd put in it." He grinned teasingly. "if it didn't matter you wouldn't look so gloomy." He shook his hand just a little to reemphasize for her to open her hand to take whatever he had in it.

Alice passively opened her hand. She didn't even care if it was a trick.

Benny dropped something into her palm. It was a couple of pieces of candy. He sat beside her as his stuff wasn't in a rush. "You look like it's the end of the world. Why?"

Alice looked down at the sweets confused. Then she closed her hand around them and began to cry all over. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry if I was a jerk."

Benny looked shocked. He sighed and leaned back against the wall. "Thanks, that's all I wanted, you know." He took a second before glancing over, "Your sister said you were having a hard time and I should be nicer to you. I could tell things aren't easy, but I believe no matter our situation, we can only depend on ourselves to keep a little dignity, right?" He reached over and patted her shoulder briefly. "I forgive you. And now, I'm sorry I over did it. I guess I have a bit of a temper sometimes. I've been used to being thought of as nothing, so sometimes it gets to me." He pointed to her hand, "eat up. You can't feel much worse, so maybe it'll help you start to feel better. Or you can talk, I'm not in a rush."

Alice hardly cared that he was sorry, or forgave her. What did any of it still matter. What did justice and dignity matter, when it seemed there was none for her? She opened her hand and looked at the sweets. "I'm sorry..." she whispered. "I can't eat owt right now."

Benny shrugged, "That's fine. It's candy, it'll last a long time. So, since you can't talk and you don't see to be in a rush. Why don't you talk about it. Is it about this whole thing with you and that guy and your um.." He tried to find the right words without being too blunt. "your reputation? Sorry, I don't know the details."

Alice closed her hand again, as well as her eyes. She frowned and tried to swallow. "I'm marryin' 'im tomorrow mornin'."

Benny looked from her then back ahead. "Ah, and you don't want to? I mean, it's clear you aren't exactly a couple.. You really don't want to marry him right? So.. why are you doing it?"

"Because I'm pregnant. And the father of t' bairn..." Her throat closed and she grimaced as she fought back a new flow of tears. She failed. He hadn't shown up. Once again, she had trusted him and he had dropped her. "'e don't love me..." she cried.

Benny was quiet a moment then frowned, "I hope you punched him. I mean, I can't say much because I haven't done that to a girl. But if I liked a guy and he did that to me, I'd do way more than punch him, but you should at least do that." He looked at her, "You're too quiet. You are almost begging for a guy to take advantage of you. That guy did it, and now this new guy is by marrying you. I mean.. my opinion.'

"'E was goin' to elope with me..." Alice cried. But now she found herself hoping the boy was still sore. And then that thought made her cry all over.

Benny gasped and didn't know what to do. He tried to pat her shoulder. "D-don't cry. You shouldn't let scum ever make you cry. You're above that, right? He isn't worth your tears and all that?"

Even now, it hurt to hear someone call Noah scum. Even now, some part of her wanted to make up an excuse for why he wasn't here. "Well he's given me t' bairn, so it's not like I can just move on."

Benny shrugged, "I mean.. making a baby isn't like magic or a sign of love. It just means you got together and weren't careful.' He held up his hands, "I'm not trying to say that to hurt you. I mean, the moment he left you, it became your child. If he's not there for you, you are just hurting yourself more. Right?"

Alice grimaced. "It will always be his, and I hate it!" she spat out.

Benny looked at her. "As someone who lived on the street and never knew my parents, don't hate your kid cause his dad is lowly dirt. You don't owe him or your kid anything. So , if I were you, don't force yourself to do what you don't like. There is always an option."

"There's only one option now..." Alice whispered, she opened her hand and stared at the sweets, the index finger of her other hand moving over them.

Benny shook his head, "There's always other options. They just might not be as easy or as pleasant. I mean.. you could run away and rely on the kindness of strangers, never giving them your real name until you can find someone to take your baby and return home or start a new life elsewhere. No one can blame you for a baby if you never actually had one. Or you could go all the way to criminal status. Rob people to make a living, then no one will care if you were married when you had the child or not. But that's a bit harsh and rough isn't it? Maybe you could try to run away to another country where they are kinder about this sort of thing?" He leaned back, "Or you marry the guy and murder him in his sleep so you can be free again but still have the dignity of being married." He smiled, "They are all very dangerous options, but they are options."

Alice looked up and frowned, horrified. "They hanged me brother for murder."

Benny nodded, "I think I remember Rose mentioning something about your older brother being gone. Well, you don't have to murder. But you could run away, or take advantage of others so no one can question the child's father. I've traveled around, some places are much kinder about this sort of thing. You tell them the tragic story of your first love , how he took your heart and made you think you would be married only to run off on you, it could shed a lot of tears in the right place."

Alice's lip quivered. "But then I would still have to leave home." She frowned and closed her eyes. "I suppose you're right. I do have options. But..." She shook her head. "None of them are appealing." And Noah still didn't love her.

Benny shrugged, "Then marry the guy. He can't expect you to perform any wifely duties for now, so put it off. Use him and then leave him with the child and come back home. You'll already be married, so it isn't like he can do much other than demand a divorce if you want to stay with your family and not return to wherever he lives.'

[Content warning: Mention of statutory rape]

Alice blushed when Benny talked about 'wifely duties'. Some part of her had considered dropping the child on Tobias and running for the hills. But she knew she could never return home if she did. Yet she nodded.

"Alice!" Ben stood near the station building, looking at the two. He walked over as quick as he could. "What is this!?" He looked at Benny. "What are you doin' with me daughter!?"

Benny smiled, "You can just put off the wedding, buy yourself some time. Play fainting spells, and act like you're too weak. " He immediately stopped as he saw her father coming up and narrowed his brow. "Lay off, I'm not touching her. We're just talking. " He held up his hands. "See? Not doing anything."

Alice wondered if she could indeed try putting it off. But that thought evaporated as soon as she saw her father. Once again, she had stolen from him. Once again she had tried to run away. She didn't care about his anger. But she feared the loss of his love. She put the sweets in her pocket and wrapped her arms around herself. "Benny was just talkin' to me." She affirmed quietly, not looking up at her father.

But Ben suddenly grabbed her by the arms, pulling her up to her feet, and shook her. "Have ye lost yer mind, lass!? Stealin' an' runnin' away an' talkin' to strange men alone. What d' ye think is gonna happen if ye try that in Tobias' home?"

"Hey!" Benny grabbed the old man's wrist to pull him away. "She's pregnant, isn't she? Don't shake her! And you act like I'm the problem here!."

Ben let go of her. He hadn't meant to harm her. Just to have her come back to her senses. He turned to Benny. "Well you are right now." He picked Alice's bag and put an arm around his daughter. "Come lass, we're goin' home."

Alice didn't look at Benny, but let her father lead her away passively.

Benny frowned and gave the man a rude gesture before calling out to Alice, "You always have options!"

But that barely registered. For a moment the had experienced the slightest sense than there might be other options. But now her mind had shut again, and she knew she would marry Tobias tomorrow.